Nineteen chapters into Matthew, we hit a grumbling rut when Jesus decided to redefine the Pharisees' idea of divorce. My group leader Gina has had a divorce, and so has Debbie and Peggy and Carol... Are they all adulterers? You could see how clarity was far from some, while others had found peace over the years. Somehow we navigated around these icebergs of scar tissue and found our ways back home to read the lesson that would give answers/cross-references/explanations for the discussion we just had.
Side note: I love the design of this study. All during the week you go out on a limb with the Holy Spirit while reading Matthew, keeping all commentaries and google searches off the table, and see where He takes you. Then the next Tuesday, we meet and discuss which trails He took us down, what dead ends we stopped at and what new fields we frolicked through in the revelatory landscape of our God's Word. No sharing which church you go to, your judgments and conclusions on this, that and the other. It's not that we're that disciplined, it's simply not allowed. Just Scripture. Then we go separate ways and read a handout given with all the answers you maybe didn't have and all the connections, truths and references you needed to come full circle. Even then, sometimes it still leaves a knot in your back.
So when Ann said, "So, is my daughter committing adultery now that she's remarried?" I was quick to think, "Of course not." But where, besides the person of Christ and knowing Him well enough to think He would say the same, do I have proof in my pudding? That had me spiraling, until I got to Jeremiah.
My new (not for sale!) husband and I began reading Jeremiah together but separate, if that makes sense. We discuss it as it germinates but read it on our own. So while taking a break from the divorce dialogue, I flipped over to chapter 2 only to hear God saying, "What did your ancestors find fault with in me that they drifted so far from me?" Is it just me or do you hear the desperate plea of an abandoned husband? He is a heartbroken Lover. I began to sob.
As I've grown older, when I see my dad as a man who has pains and troubles yet still loves fully and still believes there is Truth to be had, I cry. Now as a wife, when I see my husband as a man, who works for our good, who serves with every fiber, who takes off each garment to be vulnerable and to love, who fights the world's candy-coated lies, instead nourishing His soul on Bread that gives Life, I nearly weep. It's too good, it's too tender, it's too Christ. This is to see man elevated to new heights of his being because he is doing as he is told: "Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?"
What joy we have to witness Christ's cross made effective as believers now carry theirs! As heart-wrenching as it is to see man sanctified into truer form, Christ's form, what greater breakage must our heart experience when we see our God articulating His Supremacy in our terms: human emotions.
There is greater understanding when we read Scripture in His voice to us as a grand narrative of an eternity-long courtship, especially with the divorce debacle. What the Pharisees clearly missed was the temporary concession Moses made for hard heartedness and not for the convenience of men, but to protect women. It was not God's purpose. Divorce reveals what is true of every one of us. Sin binds the three branches from which God demands love: our hearts, our minds, our souls.
So, on to Matthew, Jesus changes nothing, instead keeps the protective measure for women, and actually re-illustrates marriage, knowing full well His soon-to-be-died-upon cross was His deathbed for His marital love of the church. We see that God rejected divorce then because it damaged His picture of His own faithful love for His people! He hates it because it causes suffering, a deeply scarring, deserting, innocence-stripping, covenant-breaking kind of suffering. He has experienced it!
And while we're on a roll, let's address on more thing. Perhaps this is why women are given protection. As the Hosea prostitute lover Israel was, crawling back to their Magnificent God after whittling mini-god figurines out of balsa wood, He withholds His wrath and instead embraces His inglorious, prodigal people. ONLY GOD is capable of this grace. God knew no mere mortal man could ever reroute such anger to show grace until Jesus came to buy us the ability and rewire hearts. Thus Moses' concession.
So what about Ann's daughter? Now knowing God's heart behind what we initially read as His condemnation, which believers and innocent divorcees find themselves pinned beneath, we reread Jesus' command in new light. No believer who truly repents should consider themselves as living in a state of adultery. Even further, not all who are divorced are guilty of the sin of divorce. He said, "In this world, you will have trouble..." and then "Take heart! I have overcome the world."
We stand victoriously healed. In fact, we have a compensating joy for the world's bitter pill of suffering and our own hard heartedness. As a young married girl with no authority outside of Christ to even address this topic, I have been encouraged by these women around me as they shared a closing truth last Tuesday: "Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it."
